Career Tips From Don Draper

The hit show Mad Men has added a new role model for men everywhere. Our list of influential men includes movie stars, rock legends, 00-agents, and now advertising agents. The cast and crew of Mad Men do a great job of transporting viewers to another time and place. And, as much as we love Roger Sterling, nobody embodies the manly qualities we're talking about like Don Draper. Jon Hamm's Golden Globe winning character recently finished first in our Top 49 Most Influential Men poll. So, what influence has Don had on your working style? Read on for some career tips we've gleaned from obsessing over episodes (we prefer to call it studying).

Play your position

No matter your title at work, play the position appropriately. This really boils down to knowing everything your job entails. Don always knows what deliverables his superiors, team and clients expect. As a leader, you should not consider any work to be “beneath you,” but you also need to be sure your team is doing their work, not just leaving it for you to pick up. Consider a manager whose team consistently leaves the bathroom a mess. If you were in this manager's shoes, would you talk to each member of your team, having a talk about bathroom standards that was boring and non-confrontational, but still left no doubt as to what you expected of your staff in terms of how to maintain the bathroom? If you're like most managers the answer is no; you'd simply start cleaning the bathroom yourself so you didn't have to have that uncomfortable talk with your staff. Keep the image in your mind -- some managers would rather clean up the toilets than tell an employee what to do.

Make it about the work

Do you come to work to make friends or to work? Don Draper certainly cares more about his work than he cares about the people on his team. Certainly, there is no need to be aggressive or to be a jerk, but this career tip from Don Draper highlights that friendship isn't the main reason to show up every morning. Go to work to get things accomplished and be effective. If you can be friends with those you work with (and it's almost always the case) that's even better, but never forget that it's also just a bonus. You might like the people you work with, but you don't show up at 9 a.m. every day because you like them.

Keep your mouth shut

One of the fundamental rules of knowledge as power is to never give away information when it does not benefit you. If you are in a position that affords you exclusive knowledge, the more people you give this knowledge to, the more diluted your power becomes. The rule here is simple: Keep your mouth shut -- and do it as much as you can (and the less you say the better). Your personal life, who in the office is hooking up, your boss' golf game -- all of that is valuable information in one way or another. Don't hand it out unless you have to. Don embodies all of these qualities. In fact, one of the very few times Don blows his cool is when he overhears the team dragging Freddy Rumsen's name through the mud.

This applies to everything except the work. If accounting asks for the month's numbers, send them over (a reply of “knowledge is power” would get you fired). Talk about the work as much as you like; if nothing else, it keeps you from talking about your private life or any juicy office gossip. Who do you respect more: The person who's always talking with you about the next big project at work or the person who's always telling you about their problems at home? Don Draper is a master in keeping his business private -- two words: Dick Whitman.

Respect what you do

Do you work with people who act like what they do is a joke? Not their industry, not their division, but their own individual job as a joke? You know, the guy who takes twice the smoke breaks of anyone else or who is always prowling the workplace, looking for somebody who's free to talk? Besides wasting time, this person is sending a clear message that they don't take their job too seriously. If you don't take what you do seriously, why should anybody else in the organization? You need to come to work every day convinced that you play a crucial role. Many men wonder why they don't command more respect in the workplace, yet they don't carry themselves with respect. This career tip from Don Draper teaches us the opposite: There's no need to brag about past success and no need to overstate your role, but never act as if your job is unimportant or your contributions aren't central to your team's success.

Dress the part

Don't overdress or underdress -- always dress for the occasion. Show up looking as snappy as you can while still looking like you're ready to hit the phones, not the clubs (or worse, the greens). We've covered plenty of fresh looks for men on the site, so be sure to study up if you're fashion impaired. Don't chase this month's fashion, stick with timeless looks that suit any situation -- some of the clothing on Mad Men are as current today as it was back then. Don't show up looking wrinkled and disheveled. If you work in an office where collared shirts and ties are expected, keep a spare tie that goes with most outfits in your desk drawer. That way, if you stain your tie before a big meeting, you're covered. If you really want to be on your game, keep some Shout wipes and a small bottle of wrinkle releaser on hand as well.

Master the mad men model

No question, our man Don Draper always makes things look easy -- during business hours at least. However, just because he makes it all look natural doesn't mean that these techniques can't be learned. Some of the subtleties of correct workplace maneuvering have to be on you before they're in you -- you'll need to do them consciously until they become more natural, until eventually you do them automatically. Don't expect to become an expert in something as difficult as learning to keep your mouth shut overnight; these are things you'll need to work at. If you can commit the time to making these behaviors a natural part of your workplace persona, you'll be able to get more done and get more respect while you do it. And that's the surest way to get ahead.

Real Man At Work

Doing your best at work means being effective and working well with others. But that doesn't mean you need to turn into a cog in the machine. You can keep your personality and still get your work done. In fact, many positive traits of a “man's man” are those that equal success at work: working hard, focusing on goals and confidence are all manly characteristics that translate well in the workplace. So, the actions that come from a well-adjusted man are a great asset to any company. Read on for some of the actions that help you be a man at work.

Make decisions

Indecisiveness is for losers. Get your facts, get some feedback from others, if you need it, and move. Spending too much time and energy in analysis paralysis causes wasted opportunities, and the decisions are usually no better. Just as we never have a big enough budget or staff for our ideas, there is never as much time and information for decisions as we'd like. Take enough time to make a great decision but don't worry about doing so perfectly. Just move -- action is energy, and fortune favors the bold.

Take responsibility

No matter how great you are at making decisions, the day will come when you make a bad one. Accept it, recover and move on. There's no sense in beating yourself up over it -- we've all taken a whack or made a call that (in hindsight) seems pretty dumb. But if you really and truly were doing your job with excellence, that's all anyone asks of you. So take responsibility for your successes and your failures. It shows others you're big enough to take your own hits, and remember that nobody likes a guy with an excuse for everything. Learn the difference between an excuse and an apology, and have your apologies ready.

Stand up

Whether it's the people you work alongside or the team that reports to you, show loyalty. A big part of loyalty is speaking well of your coworkers and yes, even your boss, behind their backs. Speak positively about your team and stand up for them when others take a cheap shot. This goes for people higher on the food chain, as well. Just because somebody occupies a higher pay grade than you doesn't mean they get to run drive-bys on your team. Legitimate complaints or commentary about the work are one thing, but to just talk smack is unprofessional at any level. Politely but firmly defend your teammate. Nobody likes being corrected, and the other person's demeanor toward you may be colder for a while, but in the long run, they will respect you for preferring loyalty over a quick laugh at another's expense while their back is turned. What if they don't come around? If they don't value integrity over putting others down, you've just learned something very telling about that person's character.

Don't gossip

What, did you think we were going to say that gossip is for women? Gossip isn't for anyone. Gossip in the workplace is destructive, counterproductive and unprofessional. What's more, keeping your mouth shut is a supremely manly quality. Only a fool tells everything he knows; the wise man observes and considers. Running your mouth at work can get you in all kinds of trouble, from making promises you can't keep to looking foolish to your superiors. So, if you overhear something or happen to have inside information, be a man and keep it to yourself.

Speak your mind

It's true that you should keep your mouth shut at work when it comes to gossip and idle chatter, but that doesn't mean that you can't have an opinion when it comes to the work. When you're asked for an opinion on the issues, speak up. Be informed and be able to support your conclusions, but make sure you have an opinion and take a side. Not having a strong stance just makes you sound wishy-washy. Yes, sometimes this will mean disagreeing with your boss, and, remember, this isn't an excuse to be a bully; you still need to present your ideas with tact (the whole “I'm just keeping it real” thing makes you sound like Carlos Mencia). But nobody likes a yes man, and there's nothing that says you can't disagree with others in a polite, productive way. Think a little less Carlos and a little more Don Draper.

Poised and professional

Being a man at work doesn't mean being macho, but it doesn't mean being a wimp either. Being an aggressive, chest-thumping lunatic is just as bad as being a lukewarm pushover, but in our experience most men in the workplace tend toward one or the other. There is, however, a middle way: being polite but powerful. The key is to go far enough without going too far. Think of work attire -- just because you need to dress well for work (and fellas, seriously, you need to dress well for work) doesn't make wearing a tuxedo appropriate. That would be overdoing it, and guess what else would be overdoing it? Being such a competitive jerk that you care more about “winning” every workplace disagreement more than you care about what's most effective.

So, with the same sense of balance you use in dressing for work, start bringing just enough of your masculinity to bear in the workplace. It will make you more productive, and you can leave work each night with that most manly of rewards: the confidence in an honest day's work.

Don't Ever Show Weakness

Every year around this time, I go to Florida for a little family time. I'm forced to spend a little time with the ball and chain, but I don't mind it so much anymore because the wife, after trying miserably for years, can finally make a tiramisu that doesn't make me wish I was sleeping with the fishes.

Though good alimentazione always puts a little smile on my face, it's the time by myself in the senior citizen hell that Florida has now become, which gives me the most satisfaction during my family vacation.

It allows me to reflect on the year that was, and the year that is going to be. Unfortunately for me, I made several mistakes during the year that was. Some involved wearing a Brioni suit to a "meeting" that I knew would involve some bloodshed, and others involved showing my true emotions when I shouldn't have.

Showing weakness is a mistake

Maybe I've gotten cocky, maybe I'm getting complacent (yeah, the big words are back), but by showing my cards during several sit-downs last year, I showed weaknesses I have never exposed before. Don't get me wrong here, I didn't act like a cafone, but I wasn't Joe Cool either. I broke a sweat when I shouldn't have.

And that got me thinking about the importance of never showing your weaknesses, and how important it is to never, ever expose them to anyone, not even someone close to you. (And if you are one of those bastardos who think showing your weak side to a woman will get you into her pants, well, all I can say to you is good luck.)

A man's standing in his universe is a reflection of his actions, reputation, demeanor, and respectability. Each facet of his standing takes years to build, through the promises he has made and kept and the discretion he has used with the information he has been privy to.

It just takes one little crack

Yet a man's standing can be destroyed in seconds when his strength of character comes into question. It doesn't take much for someone to destroy you; it only takes the right misstep. All great dons, warriors, generals, and businessmen in history had one trait in common: They successfully and repeatedly exploited the weaknesses of their enemies.

What's worse is that anyone can use your weaknesses against you, not just your enemies. Your colleagues, business associates, friends, girlfriends, mistresses, and even family may know some small facet of your life that they can use against you when the time is right. And those who are closest to you are always the ones who inflict the most damage, because you never expect your weakness to be used against you by someone you trust.

Think that can't happen to you? Think again. Nothing in life lasts forever, including a good relationship. Somewhere, somehow, goods things go bad, and more often than not, they can go from bad to worse

If you are a man of responsibility and leadership, then that responsibility should on no account be doubted. Don't put yourself in a situation that shows that you are not in control because it will cause those who trust you to lose faith in your abilities as a man of responsibility.

Your influence and reputation can also quickly diminish if those who live in your universe assume you are weak. They don't even have to know why, they just need to know that your reputation is no longer as strong as it once was, and before you know it, they will no longer respect your word. These are the long-term effects of being a consistent stronzo in public.

When do you show weakness?

So how can you tell when you are revealing yourself, like Aunt Carmine stripping an onion? Unless you walk around with a camera filming your every move, you can't. What you can do is be aware of which situations cause you to show weakness.

Fear is the No. 1 way to reveal your Achilles' heel. Everyone has fear, even a man with a death wish, but few are able to camouflage it. When you show fear, you show that you are unable to anticipate the outcome of something or deal with the situation's consequences in a controlled fashion. Your enemy will feel like a kid in a candy store. Show fear in front of anyone, and it is game over for your respectability.

Anger is another great way to reveal a weakness to your enemy. Everyone who is out to get you will try getting you where it hurts. Showing anger in a particular situation, especially if unwarranted, will reveal your game and expose what makes you tick and what makes you go boom. This doesn't mean that you should never show anger in public, just that it should be a subdued discontentment, not a tyrannical rage (get a dictionary you buffoons if you can't keep up with Mr. Dictionary over here).

Emotion should be eliminated. No matter how tough a situation gets, no matter how much you feel a stabbing pain in your heart, never let your enemy know how you feel. That is what I loved about Mustache Petes; the old-time Mafiosi never showed what they were thinking even when their fingers were being axed.

Remember, your enemy is anyone that is not on your side. Being indifferent emotionally means no one can know what you are thinking. Being emotional means opening a can of worms. It means there is a possibility that something you are actually feeling gets exposed, or worse, you can say something so stupid that even the rats lose respect for you.

Addiction, whether it's a love of gambling, narcotics, prostitution, or any other vice, can be a weakness used against you. Revealing your affection for habits deemed "unlawful" will bring you nothing but nightmares. You have a bad habit? Deal with it, and keep your mouth shut. You got yourself in the mess, get yourself out. Informing anyone of your little deed just increases the amount of knives in circulation that can be firmly planted in your back.

How to avoid showing weaknesses

Every man has weaknesses. No one is infallible, no one is indestructible, but if someone is going to destroy you, your reputation or your business, let them earn it. Don't give them the keys to the Porsche. Here are 5 things you can do to avoid showing weakness.

1- Never show your emotions in front of your enemies. This includes anger, jealously and pain. Keep them guessing about what you are thinking, and you'll always have the upper hand. It's like holding a royal flush.

2- Be stable. One of the ways a man can be seen as weak without actually revealing any of his weaknesses is by being unstable. A man who is respected can be counted on for reliability and consistency. When expectations are placed upon you, you should deliver on those expectations and fulfill the code of honor. No more, no less. Anything that isn't consistent is considered out of whack. Anything out of whack is considered weak. So stay in control, act if you have to, but never let a situation get over your head.

3- Be aware of your surroundings. Remain cautious at all times. Don't get lazy with your actions or words just because you feel you are in the company of those who are close to you. Ration your words; unless you have to say something, keep your mouth shut. More often than not, it's your trap that reveals the weakling that you are.

4- If a situation is going to be "scary," think about it beforehand. If you anticipate the situation and its consequences, you are no longer facing an unknown. Often, it is the unknown that brings you fear. That is why men who know they are going to die are at peace, but boys who see scare tactics flashed in front of them wet their pants. If you know what to expect in every situation you face and anticipate how to get out of any sticky situation, you won't be scared. No fear means no weakness revealed.

5- Never show confusion in public. We've all been in situations where we feel like we've landed in a Star Trek convention, with gibberish being thrown at us like an uppercut. Don't let the other guy know it, especially if he is a "client." Defer to others if you can't figure something out. When you deal with someone, never let them know that they are smarter than you, or know more about what is going on than you.

If a guy is explaining something you don't quite understand, don't make a face like Beethoven's 7th is coming out of your a**; nod, make a mental note, and ask a knowledgeable paisan that you trust. Nowadays, your head is the strongest weapon you have. Your weapon has to be respected, and in these ever-changing times, even the smartest Mafioso can get overwhelmed (I admit it) and need to fake his understanding.

Only amateurs show weakness

Look at me, I went on and on like I was a latter-day Dante. And to say what? To say that no one will respect you if they think you are weak. As long as they think it, it doesn't matter whether it's true or not. Worse, your weakness can and will be used against you when the time is right.

So keep your weaknesses nicely hidden in your own personal Fort Knox by being consistent in your actions, protecting your carefully crafted reputation, being cautious all the time (even when you are sleeping, keep one eye open), keeping your mouth shut, and never, ever showing how you truly feel in public.

Player Personality

Nobody’s perfect. Based on impressive conquests that come early and frequently in his career, a Player might erroneously assume that no further training is required. But as the realistic pickup artist ages, he becomes more secure and confident and loses the cockiness. He analyzes the continually changing social scene, and, although it’s often humbling, examines his own strengths and weaknesses. It’s difficult to accept that we’re lacking in certain areas -- and every human is -- but perhaps the following list of personality enhancers will get you started. Even if you believe you already possess the trait in question, there’s always room for improvement. And here’s one final note to ponder: Somehow, women seem to be able to spot men who are willing to work on themselves. They notice it, and they find it really attractive.

Be direct

There’s an ailment currently sweeping like wildfire through the young male population. It’s the belief that indifference and a distant demeanor is seen as universally attractive (which makes one wonder if the early ‘90s grunge theme is making a comeback). Shrugging the shoulders at direct questions and giving noncommittal responses doesn’t peg you as a carefree, deceptively deep and artfully morose individual -- it just means you don’t care about much about anything. Being direct doesn’t mean you unveil your soul to every girl; it means you look her in the eye, give her your full undivided attention, become actively engaged in conversation, and interested in her existence. This “yeah, whatever” attitude is not only childish but exceedingly off-putting in the eyes of most quality catches.

Fidelity

Don’t laugh. The Player has never recommended or even endorsed cheating, and this is for several obvious reasons. The true ladies' man relies heavily on a reputation that is skillfully created and cultivated, and he knows the well could dry up quickly if that reputation suffers. There’s a very big difference between getting a lot of women in succession and getting a lot of women at the same time. One results in sexually satisfied females who bear no ill-will toward you, while the other leaves a trail of bitter hatred and animosity, which will eventually become an impassable wall. Everywhere you go, women will know you’re nothing but a disrespectful lout with no real redeeming value and the best of the best will withdraw. You will be left with jilted divorcees and inebriated college girls, both of whom would likely go home with a broomstick if it showed interest.

Comedic appeal

“I need someone who makes me laugh.” Ironically enough, the funniest joke in all of romance and relationships is the fact that many women put “sense of humor” at the top of their most-wanted lists. If there is no initial attraction via physical appeal, the funniest man alive will receive the standard “thanks for the drink” and a polite rebuff. Even so, there’s no doubt a great sense of humor can give you an edge, so a would-be Player should always take a stab at being humorous. There’s a darn good reason why opening lines of conversation typically consist of a joke, but this will hardly separate you from the crowd. The key is to be spontaneously funny on a consistent basis, so she knows that whenever she’s around you, she’ll emerge from the encounter with a girlish smile. Unfortunately, some people just aren’t funny, so if you’re no Seinfeld, you should try another booster rather than embarrassing yourself.

Chivalry's not dead

Gallantry and charm never go out of style, as this Player always says. Some guys honestly believe it makes no difference in this day and age if he holds a door, pulls out a chair or takes a coat. He believes that women, who have struggled so hard to attain the equality they rightfully have, see such maneuvers as a return to the oppressive ‘50s, where you would have expected her to be pregnant in the kitchen at all times. But if you actually speak to girls about this, most will say they never lost an appreciation for such niceties, and no man who treats a lady like a lady will be rejected for his “old-fashioned” beliefs. Of course, there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed -- ordering for a woman has never been classy, but simple gestures, like walking on the outside of the sidewalk to keep her safely inside, always resonate.

Be goal-oriented

As we all know, one of the very first questions a woman asks is: “So, what do you do?” We’ve reached a point where it’s one of the first questions on a man’s lips too, but that still doesn’t devalue the importance of having goals. Girls look down the road every bit as much as guys, and they want to know where they might be in a decade. They want to ensure that you’re not satisfied with being an assistant manager forever. The bottom line is that you should be quick to outline your goals and lofty dreams; any show of real ambition puts you in a more flattering light. Having clear and determined goals says a lot about you, especially as it relates to potential relationships.

Exude strength

Men who hem and haw over big decisions fall a few notches in a woman’s mind. In an off-shoot of the chivalry trait, strength and firmness of character resonate instinctively to women. I’m not necessarily saying that all women want a “take-charge guy,” but the more you exhibit a quiet sense of firmness and solidity, the more you will benefit -- at the very least, she will have more respect for you. You know what you want, and even when you don’t you address the indecision with a quick and accurate guiding hand. If there is a conflict of opinion, the strong individual calmly listens to the competing train of thought and takes it into consideration. It’s not about being stubborn; it’s about being confident and, in a way, trustworthy.

Be compassionate

If you can manage to be strong, gallant and compassionate, you’ll be downright irresistible in the eyes of prospective targets. Many guys consider themselves compassionate and sensitive, but that’s only in comparison to their peers. Women have very different definitions of compassion. Action represents the difference between the talkers and doers. It’s one thing to sympathize with the abused animals on that infomercial when your girl is in the room, but it’s quite another to go and adopt one. If your lady is sick, you can either call her and send your condolences, or you can show up at her door and give her some actual comfort. If you really think about that, you can exhibit compassion in a hundred small ways through the course of any given week.

it's doesn't come easy

Of course, these personality enhancers aren’t supposed to change your way of life, and, as always, they require some effort.

Old School Values For Men

The world is getting soft and lazy and overloaded with pussyfooters who have no hustle. The way most men act these days, I wonder if they were neutered or if they spent too much time nursing on mommy. The sickening whine I hear usually comes from my younger friends and nephews, who think of hardship as having to wait two minutes for a microwave to finish.

However it happened, these guys have lost what took centuries to become part of man's DNA. Along with having no patience, they're indecisive. They stopped seeing things in black and white and because of it have paralyzed their ability to move on. Sure, some men were like this back in the day too, but they didn't get far.

Today, being a sensitive wimp doesn't hold you back, although it definitely slows down everyone else when feelings are protected. Everyone wants to be happy all of the time, but feelings have to be hurt. If they are protected, then you get a bunch of sensitive, welfare-sucking whiners whose skin is as thin as their wallets. The best lessons learned in life stem from old school values, and they usually only take root in a person through personal knockouts. It takes an attitude adjustment brought on by taking an ass-kicking from time to time. The first time doesn't feel so good, but getting taught the hard way is the quickest way to becoming the teacher of lessons.

Tough love

They say: To forgive is divine, but unless you're a priest, forget about it. Mistakes need to be unforgiven so that others don't look at leniency as a green light for doing whatever they want. What good is a rule if it can be broken without the threat of punishment? The whole purpose of making rules is to keep people in line and bust the chops of anyone who steps out of it. In my world of old-school values, there is no temporary insanity or parole. If you made a mess, adios babbo, you ain't coming back into the fold with a simple apology. And no plea from your friends or brothers will change my mind, because forgiveness softens you up for the next time. It sets a precedent that says: "Go ahead, screw up -- it's OK."

Social flexibility

A lot of people these days want to do their own thing, go at their own pace, live life to the fullest. I see my nephew playing video games all day, locked in a fantasy world. When the idiot sits down at the dinner table, he doesn't even know how to talk. He's off in la-la land and doesn't have the first clue about how to fit in to a group. With my old-school values you go to the bar, a ball game or the golf course for leisure and socializing. You don't lock yourself in the house and play games alone. I have no place in my crew for mutes who can only hit out of the sand on the computer.

 Accountability

I stopped over at a friend's place one day thinking that he'd be at work. He was at home, drinking coffee in his pajamas. I asked him if he was feeling sick and he said: "No, I'm on flex-time." He works when he wants to, as long as he gets his job done -- when he's feeling "inspired," he said. I wanted to inspire him right then and there with my foot, but I'm not his boss. As for my schedule, it's hardwired into my brain. I don't use an alarm clock and don't wait for inspiration. I go after what I want with a hammer.


An eye for an eye

Not granting forgiveness is important, but nothing is as important as evening the score. It's about payback, taking a stand and showing the consequences of being double-crossed. Ever watch hockey? When the star gets jacked into the glass by a goon, you can bet your ass that the star's defenseman will be head-hunting the goon all night long. This is a basic principle of gaining power -- that you cannot turn the other cheek, but instead you have to take an equal pound of flesh. Here it's easy to get greedy and try to take a little more, but payback has to be proportional. That's why the Bible says "an eye for an eye" and not "two eyes for an eye." Payback is honorable, but anything more is likely to start a war. Don't bite off more than you can chew or you can expect another cheap shot.

Just desserts

Don't worry about those who can't keep up. Slowing down is just a way of rewarding the untalented. I took my kid to a bike race one weekend and he didn't finish in the top three. I said: "Good try, kid, maybe next year." It seemed like a good chance for him to get motivated, to make him want to work harder. But everyone got an award. They gave him a medal. I've been to enough horse races to know that only the top three get payouts. Even though he lost, he seemed somewhat pleased that he "won" something. I had to explain to him that the medal meant nothing and I made him throw it in the trash, because that's what it was a reward for losing, not that different from a pacifier for a baby. Losing should make you want to win; it should not satisfy you, because in the adult world you will have to go after what you want with every day. If you don't get yours, someone else will.

School of hard knocks


This is not the age of moderation, but I'll tell you that keeping things in perspective will help you get where you want to be. If you watch enough TV, you'll think that everyone is partying all the time and everyone is getting laid twice a day. The same rules apply. You work, play, sleep. That's life. Grandpa might seem like a crotchety old nag, but he's lived through the Depression and war and 40 years of marriage. He's old-school.

Failure Is an Option:

I’m scared,” admitted Private First Class Albert Blithe. “That’s why I couldn’t shoot.”

“We’re all scared,” replied the lieutenant. “Your problem is you still have hope.”


Lt. Robert Speirs was a war hero in World War II. His performance is just one of many stories memorialized in the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers. Based on the book of the same name, it tells the true story of the 101st Airborne, Easy Company. Unlike Lt. Speirs, PFC Blithe was not a hero. He spent much of the war crouched in his foxhole crying and rarely firing a shot.

Accept the possibility of failure


But it’s the lesson that Lt. Speirs teaches about the acceptance of failure that is so poignant. Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is feeling afraid and continuing on despite the fear. Great leaders, like war heroes, understand the risks they face and are at peace with the consequences. They are not blind to reality; they just accept it.


The best entrepreneurs are like Lt. Speirs. It’s not that they are not afraid of failure, nor is it that they ignore the possibility of it. Quite the opposite. The best entrepreneurs are the ones who accept the very real possibility of failure and proceed anyway.


It's the same in business as it is in war

Effective leaders inside a big company operate the same way. To operate based on conviction and belief requires an acceptance that your actions could get you fired. This is different from pig-headed bravado, and it is different from putting the company at risk. Lt. Speirs may have acted with audacity, but his actions never put the men of Easy Company in greater danger. He always operated with both his mission the good of the company in mind.


You'll be a more effective leader in crisis

The most effective leaders are actually better at guarding against danger when they acknowledge it that it exists. Cowards, in contrast, cling to the hope that failure will never happen and may be sloppy in the face of danger -- not because they don’t acknowledge that it exists, but because they are just too afraid of it to look it in the eye. This is the reason we’re always told to stay calm in an emergency. Panic causes tunnel vision. Calm acceptance of danger allows us to more easily assess the situation and see the options.


If you’re about to undertake any venture that has risk, make sure to acknowledge the risk and to be at peace with the consequences that may come of it.


Your survival depends on it

Incidentally, PFC Blithe was shot in the neck by a sniper when he carelessly stuck his neck out of a foxhole in Nazi-occupied France. He died as a result of his wounds three years after the war ended. Lt. Speirs defied the reality he accepted and returned home to America and died in 2007, a decorated officer of the U.S. Army.

Show Respect As A Leader

It was 9:20 p.m. and the package had to get out that night. No ifs, ands or buts. But there was a big problem: The last FedEx pickup was at 9:30 p.m. and the package wasn’t ready to go. It hadn’t been boxed up and there wasn’t a standard-size box that would fit what had to be sent. To top it all off, the slip hadn’t even been filled out yet. Panic ensued.


Show respect at all times

It was under these exact conditions that I learned the leadership lesson of respect for all at all times.
I was the “low man on the totem pole” at the time and I was in the mailroom that evening, in the basement of the company, rushing to get my own package out on time when two junior account executives came in with the same predicament. Both had packages that needed to get out that night and neither had their packages packed up and ready to go.

No one is below you

Dave, a guy who believed the people who worked in the mailroom were beneath him, walked in and demanded someone help him. He was polite, or at least he forced himself to be polite, but it was obvious how we felt about mailroom workers and he didn’t really show respect. He pointed to one of the guys and asked him with one of those passive-aggressive questions that’s really a demand to help him get the package ready to go. “It’s very important and it’s for one of the partners,” he added.
Sam, the other executive, was different. Sam was nice to everyone and knew how to show respect, because he did so at all times. He walked into the mailroom and asked the guys for a box so he could get the package ready to go in a hurry. “Don’t worry, Sam, we’ll take care of it for you,” one of the mailroom guys said. “We got your back.”

Really?” Sam responded.

“Yeah,” said the mailroom guy, “It’s late. Get outta here, we'll get this done.”

And with that, Sam thanked all the guys in the mailroom and left for the night.

Dave, who stood there watching the scene play out with me, demanded that they do the same for him. One of the senior mailroom guys looked up and said: “If your package is not ready for the FedEx pick up in 10 minutes, it won’t make it. Better hurry.”

great leaders show respect

I don’t need to tell you the rest. Sam’s career has been pretty great and Dave, well, I don’t even know what happened to him.

If you want to be a great leader, remember to treat all people with respect at all times. For one, because you never know when you’ll need their help. And two, because it’s a sign you respect people, which all great leaders do.

Mafia Myth

Every profession is plagued by stereotypes and myths. Not every doctor is saving lives like some House finale, not every detective is busting balls and cracking heads, and not every blue-collar man's crack is showing. But as much as a reputation can precede other professionals, it’s nothing compared to Mafia myths.

With every Scorsese flick and Mafia video game pumping through pop culture, the paisans of my industry have to answer all the questions. Is it really like that? How many guys have you killed? Do you know Robert De Niro? Just because you paid your $10 at the multiplex, and you sat through the latest crime drama, doesn’t make you an expert. Because it helps to know the true history, structure and working of The Family, I’ve decided to clean up a couple Mafia myths. Enjoy.

NYC was the birthplace of the American Mafia
For most of the general public, and even the paisans who grew up in the tenements of New York’s LES, to imagine the birth of the American Mafia happening anywhere outside NYC is impossible. But all men of honor know that credit should be paid where credit is due. Although La Cosa Nostra came to life in the Big Apple (that’s not a Mafia myth, some things just aren’t), some of the first Mafioso activity actually happened in New Orleans. I’m not saying we cornered the whole crawfish industry, but when the police superintendent suddenly went missing from the force, everyone knew it was the birth of a whole new world.

The Mafia never deals with the Feds
I’m not saying I invite these guys over for Sunday gravy once a week (God knows half these cafones aren’t fit to raid a house, let alone dine in one). But the age-old Mafia myth that it’s always the Feds versus the Mafia fails to highlight some pretty important collaborations. During WWII, the gov didn’t use its own soldiers to protect its ports from raiding foreign enemies, it used Lucky Luciano’s. And when Castro was running the show, threatening to turn our country red, who did the government turn to? The very paisans that used to run the show in Cuba -- the Mafia. And though not all these collaborations went as planned, the two sides worked quite well in the boardroom together.

Snitches are part of the game
From the movies, the books and the video games, the public believes the Mafia myth that it’s only a matter of time before everybody flips. And even though guys in the game these days check everyone for a wire, the whole concept of “snitching” is a fairly new phenomenon. We’re an old business, dating back to the 1800s, protecting the streets in the warm Sicilian air. No one would ever dream of turning state’s evidence -- we took a freaking oath. For many of the old-timers, it was never an option. But when Joe Valachi sang like a canary in ’63, a new trend started, and witness protection had a whole list of new residents to relocate. Valachi turned the whole industry upside down. Before him, you couldn’t get a wise guy to tell you what he had for breakfast. If the bosses from the old country could see these guys on the stand now, marone.

It’s an age-old structure

Most guys got it right -- there is a pyramid and hierarchy in place that stems back from those early days in Palermo. But the original families who implemented that structure would see some serious changes if they came back today. As much as the mob likes to pride itself on titles and history, the organization was forced to adapt over the years. With new technology, surveillance and guys trying to run their families from afar, job positions had to be created. Street bosses are one. When the Feds come to your house and put you in a holding area with no cell phone, no pay phone and no smoke signals, all decisions have to be made by your street guy. Family messenger, whose title says it all, is another; he’s some stunad who runs information to the rest of the family. It beats making outgoing calls on a wire-tapped phone. Long live the Patriot Act, marone.

tearing down the rumor mill
There are countless Mafia myths surrounding us, and though I can’t spend the time dispelling all of them, it’s worth noting you shouldn’t believe everything you hear. When a guy gets wind of what it is I do for a living, he’ll try to start with the lingo and the stories. “I know Johnny Wings.” “I shot dice with Tommy Grant.” And when these guys start talking about the game, they tend to get it all wrong. There are more untruths surrounding La Cosa Nostra than any other profession in the world. I just hope I got to clear some of them up for you.

You Need A PLAN

By the age of 20, Benjamin Franklin had already established a plan by which he intended to live the rest of his life. If that strikes you as an unrealistic expectation, well, Franklin did exactly that, and he became one of the most accomplished and dynamic figures in American history along the way. It evidently worked out pretty well for him.

By the time he died in 1790, Franklin had been carrying that plan -- his 13 Virtues -- with him, in some form, for 64 years, using it to track his own progress decades after he had it committed to memory. That sense of personal accountability is certainly part of why he was so successful at it. Even if you have a pretty solid idea of where you're headed in life, adhering to a plan like Franklin's requires you to be responsible about your future -- otherwise you'll find it far too easy to explain away your failures and put off your goals.

You don't necessarily need to abide by this exact plan, or even to write one out like this at all, but you do need a framework for your self-improvement. If you're looking for someplace to start, Franklin's design is as good an example as any.

1- Self-improvement needs direction

Everyone, everywhere, has had the experience of settling on some haphazard goal for improving his life only to forget about it two weeks later (except, apparently, Ben Franklin). New Year's resolutions are representative of these enthusiastic but ill-conceived promises ("I'm going to get in shape -- and with no particular idea what I mean by that! Yeah!").

You can't just make a vague decision about becoming a Better Man and expect that impulsive, undefined concept to actually change your behavior for any real stretch of time. That is, after all, what you're almost certainly trying to do, and altering whatever routine you've become accustomed to means you need a definitive framework on hand. The value of actually writing this stuff down is that definite goals, goals you actually track, are harder to ignore than some indeterminate, conceptual self-improvement that doesn't really call for you to do much of anything.

2- A plan forces accountability

The puritan origins of Franklin's virtues are pretty obvious in this regard: His plan calls for temperance ("Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation") and moderation ("Avoid extreames"), as well as frugality, cleanliness and chastity. Although permitting yourself to become an overweight, wasteful drunk will probably present you with no difficulty in staying chaste, the point here is that you're sabotaging your life if you don't hold yourself accountable for the mistakes you make.

Again, Franklin's Puritanism was his, not yours, and you don't need to go become a monk, but you should be aware of all the stuff you do that isn't helping your life one bit. Modern examples of life plans tend to acknowledge the importance of accountability. Bill Phillips' Body for Life tracks both diet and weight-training progress, and financial frameworks (budget or investment planning, for example) are even more dependent on showing progress with concrete figures.


3- Knowing your direction keeps you from wasting your life

Franklin was raised with the belief that hard work has inherent worth, which is a good way to look at life if you want to excel at your career -- or really any extensive personal accomplishment. Three of his virtues were industry ("Lose no time"), order ("Let each part of your business have its time") and resolution ("Perform without fail what you resolve"). Holding yourself accountable for your mistakes is only the first half of accountability, because just being aware of what you’re doing wrong isn't much of a self-improvement.

If, on the other hand, you're forcing yourself to maintain progress based on a set of intelligently chosen goals, you're actually trying to accomplish something genuine. Apathy is your worst enemy, and the best intentions in the world are far less effective at getting you where you want to be than a set of intelligently chosen goals.

13 virtues to a good life

Just because Franklin's plan is oriented toward self-denial doesn't mean that yours has to be. Some of his virtues are easily covered by the simple decision just to be good to people: These include silence, sincerity, tranquility, and, the most representative of them, justice ("Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.") That last bit about duty is sort of what this entire process is about, and it calls for you to supplement the part of the plan where you avoid detrimental things with a resolution to be actively good as well. Self-improvement too often focuses cosmetic or self-serving goals, but it's just as important to start being a Better Man by being a better human being.

Define Your Personal Leadership Brand in Five Steps

You probably already have a personal leadership brand. But do you have the right one?




The question is not trivial. A leadership brand conveys your identity and distinctiveness as a leader. It communicates the value you offer. If you have the wrong leadership brand for the position you have, or the position you want, then your work is not having the impact it could. A strong personal leadership brand allows all that's powerful and effective about your leadership to become known to your colleagues, enabling you to generate maximum value.



What's more, choosing a leadership brand can help give you focus. When you clearly identify what you want to be known for, it is easier to let go of the tasks and projects that do not let you deliver on that brand. Instead, you can concentrate on the activities that do.



So how do you build a leadership brand? My co-author Dave Ulrich and I came up with these five steps.



1. What results do you want to achieve in the next year?



The first thing you should do is ask yourself, "In the next 12 months, what are the major results I want to deliver at work?" Take into account the interests of these four groups:



•Customers

•Investors

•Employees

•The organization

Dave and I once worked with a very talented and hardworking executive we'll call Tricia. Her successful performance in several varied roles at her organization — she'd been an auditor, a process engineer and a customer-service manager — earned her a promotion into a general manager position, charging her with running one of the company's largest businesses. To succeed at her first large-scale leadership position and meet the complex set of expectations she would encounter in it, she knew she needed to become more deliberate about the way she led others. In short, she knew she needed a new leadership brand, and asked us for help in forging it.



We advised Tricia to begin by focusing on the expectations of those she was working to serve, rather than on what she identified as her personal strengths. Leadership brand is outward focused; it is about delivering results. While identifying innate strengths is an important part of defining your leadership brand, the starting point is clarifying what is expected of you.



2. What do you wish to be known for?



Tricia knew she was seen as technically proficient and hardworking, but somewhat aloof. These traits, she realized, added up to a leadership brand that would not take her very far in her new role.



With that in mind, Tricia picked six descriptors that balanced the qualities that came naturally to her with those that would be critical in her new position. She then tested her choices by sharing them with her boss, her peers, and some of her most trusted subordinates. She simply asked them, "Are these the traits that someone in this general manager role should exhibit?" Their responses helped her refine her list to ultimately include the following traits:



•Collaborative

•Deliberate

•Independent

•Innovative

•Results-oriented

•Strategic

3. Define your identity



The next step is to combine these six words into three two-word phrases that reflect your desired identity. This exercise allows you to build a deeper, more complex description: not only what you want to be known for, but how you will probably have to act to get there. For example, calmly driven differs from tirelessly driven. Experimenting with the many combinations that you can make from your six chosen words helps you crystallize your personal leadership brand.



Tricia combined the six descriptors into the following three phrases:



•Independently innovative

•Deliberately collaborative

•Strategically results-oriented

She tested this with several colleagues, neatly pulled together what came easily to Tricia ("independently innovative" and "strategically results-oriented") with what she could accomplish through disciplined effort ("deliberately collaborative"). Tricia was satisfied that it aptly described both the kind of leader she was and the kind of leader she was becoming.



4. Construct your leadership brand statement, then test it.



In this step, you pull everything together in a leadership brand statement that makes a "so that" connection between what you want to be known for (Steps 2 and 3) and your desired results (Step 1). Fill in the blanks:



"I want to be known for being ______________ so that I can deliver __________."



Tricia's leadership brand statement read: "I want to be known for being independently innovative, deliberately collaborative and strategically results-oriented so that I can deliver superior financial outcomes for my business."



With your leadership brand statement drafted, ask the following three questions to see if it needs to be refined:



•Is this the brand identity that best represents who I am and what I can do?

•Is this brand identity something that creates value in the eyes of my organization and key stakeholders?

•What risks am I taking by exhibiting this brand? Can I live this brand?

After going through this exercise, Tricia was satisfied that she had crafted a personal leadership brand that was appropriate for her new role and within her power to live and make real.



5. Make your brand identity real



Espoused-but-unlived brands create cynicism because they promise what they do not deliver. To ensure that the leadership brand you advertise is embodied in your day-to-day work, check in with those around you. Do they see you as you wish to be seen? If you say you are flexible and approachable, do others find you so?



After Tricia defined her personal leadership brand, she shared it with others. She let people know that she was evolving as a leader and invited their feedback, especially on her efforts at working collaboratively.



The exercise of forging a leadership brand and the day-to-day discipline of making it real, Tricia said, helped her stay focused on the most important challenges of her new role.



To be sure, your leadership brand isn't static; it should evolve in response to the different expectations you face at different times in your career. In our work, we have seen that leaders with the self-awareness and drive to evolve their leadership brands are more likely to be successful over the long term — and to enjoy the journey more.



Norm Smallwood is co-founder of The RBL Group, a strategic HR and leadership systems advisory firm. He is author, with Dave Ulrich and Kate Sweetman, of the 2009 Harvard Business Press title, The Leadership Code: Five Rules to Lead By and with Dave Ulrich on the 2007 title, Leadership Brand: Developing Customer-Focused Leaders to Drive Performance and Build Lasting Value (Harvard Business School Press, 2007).

Mafioso: Don't Let Your Emotions Rule

Mafioso: Don't Let Your Emotions Rule

Top 10: War Speeches That Inspired

Top 10: War Speeches That Inspired

5 Ways to Increase Productivity with Life Balance

You work hard, but do you play hard? An employee review survey conducted by the Randstad Group found that 57% of Generation Y employees and 26% of baby boomers take off unplanned days from work to deal with stress. You may think that business owners would do the same but in my experience they tend to work harder, rather than step away, as the stress builds.




Entrepreneurs are multi-dimensional, passionate individuals so living a whole life is more important to their health and well being than almost anything. They are risk takers, yet are too often tucked behind their desk - safely focusing on the tedious aspects of their business.



It’s easy to get caught in this trap, but really, how productive can you be when you are missing your family and friends, yearning for another sky diving adventure, and neglecting your workout time? There is no shortage of studies sighting that employee effectiveness rises when time off is taken on a regular basis, but entrepreneurs can easily lose sight of this fact, working for months – even years – without time away from the business.



It’s a fact; productivity levels drop with lack of life balance. You need to recharge your batteries on a consistent basis. When you take time out your creativity, endurance, happiness and, most likely your profits, will all increase. Here are some simple ways to recharge.



1. Focus on what is important. Ask yourself, “What is most important to me in life, other than a successful business?” Is it spending time with family and friends? Being in nature? Connecting with your spirituality? Now ask, “How much of my time do I spend in this area of my life?” Odds are you are spending the least amount of time in the most important life categories. As you increase time in these areas you will feel more complete, less guilty, and more focused. It may seem impossible to escape work after only 5 or 6 hours, but give it a try and see how you feel the next day. Spend an extra couple of hours a week with the kids, your mate, your friends or extended family. You may just find yourself able to complete things more effectively as your focus and clarity returns after some hours of leisure.



2. Take a mini-vacation. Perhaps you can’t afford a full-blown vacation right now; that’s okay (for the time being). How can you get away from your familiar surroundings without getting on an airplane? Is there a little town nearby that offers unique restaurants and shopping? Do you like amusement parks? How about a picnic or hiking the trails? A day at the beach perhaps? Think of a one-day getaway that is low budget but enjoyable. You’ll be surprised at how this can renew your spirit!



3. Schedule date nights. If you are married or have a significant other, make sure you are spending quality time together. You chose one another for a reason, spend time enjoying it! Reignite the passion and appreciate the value in having a mate. Imagine if you were going through life right now without someone to lean on and love, do your best not to take it for granted.



4. Spend time working away from the office. I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop, enjoying the presence of familiar faces as I write this article. Stepping away from my work environment every day gives me an emotional boost. So many business owners are social, people-loving individuals, yet they isolate themselves for days at a time. One of the reasons you probably started your own business is because you value your freedom; enjoy it! Take your laptop outside, go to the library, think about joining a networking group or find another work-related weekly event.



5. Take frequent breaks in your day. While it’s important to have two-hour chunks of focused time in your work schedule, it’s equally important to give your brain and body a rest. Schedule short walks, lunch away from the computer, and other pleasant activities into your day. You will find that you are able to complete tasks more quickly and efficiently as this habit becomes part of your daily routine.



What are your life balance survival tips? Share them here and spread the balance!

Enrique Iglesias - Not In Love ft. Kelis

Enrique Iglesias - Addicted

Enrique Iglesias Unreleased Track - Baby Hold On